1.) Just Listen! Please just listen to my story, it helps me process! I don’t want to hear about your friend or friend’s friend or cousin or co-worker that went through Infertility and IVF. If you have not gone through it yourself just provide a listening ear and empathy,
2.) It's Exhausting! Mentally, Physically, and emotionally. It is all I think about everyday whether it be what I am putting in my mouth, to what I expose myself to, to the copious amounts of medication I have to put or inject into my body. So, when people say just don’t think about it, it will happen. That is physically impossible and the most frustrating comment. Financially it has wreaked havoc on our finances. Our insurances do not cover anything to do with infertility. After we finish IVF we will have spent over $35,000 on infertility treatment. Polypectomy procedure, lab work, anesthesia, medications, 3 failed IUI’s have cost us about $10,000. When those all failed IVF is the next thing to try which is $25,000 +.
Lastly, emotionally this has been the most exhausting two years of my life. With all the hormones, medications, and grief of infertility I can cry at any time. I can cry for days on end and go into very dark places.
3.) I am excited for you and your pregnancy. I may not want to be around all the baby stuff, but I am truly happy for you and don’t wish infertility on ANYONE.
4.) Gambling – each procedure is like gambling $10,000 at once. You have the highs of highs of hoping this one might work, and we might win and then the lowest of lows when you lose it all again for the 3rd time. The emotional roller coaster is exhausting.
5.) Infertility is isolating – Infertility is not something you talk about daily. People don’t ask you about it because they want to be sensitive to the situation. It's so isolating when your friends and family become parents and now, they have magically unlocked all the secrets to parenthood and say things like well one day when you’re a mom you will see.
6.) You become very sensitive – On bad days I am sensitive to everything and can cry at the drop of a pin. I am usually holding back tears but may come off angry or rude. But honestly, I’m just trying to prevent the flood gates from opening because once they open for the day they don’t stop.
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